Is constant comparison killing your self esteem?

Is constant comparison killing your self esteem?
August 1, 2013 Courtney Prosser



Have you ever felt the green eyed monster rear it’s head when you look at other people’s lives?  Have you felt the gut wrenching punch of the ‘I’m not good enough’ voice that can often berate us when we get the measuring stick out and compare ourselves to others?  “She has more of this and more of that.  He is better at this or better at that.”

We compare our looks, we compare our partners, we compare our lifestyles, our jobs, our children, our bank balances.  We hear what other people are doing, we see the photo edition of their lives on facebook or on television and we assume that they are so much better or worse off than us.

Our self worth goes up and down like a yoyo depending on who we are comparing ourselves to.  It is a crazy battle of superiority and inferiority complexes!  Nuts nuts nuts! It is a sure fire way to be miserable if we spend the whole time measuring ourselves against others.

Does one wave in the ocean compare itself to another wave.  “Oh dude you are so much bigger and fatter than me”. No! A wave simple ripples across the surface of life in all its natural glory whatever the quality, shape or size.

So who’s ready to get off the comparison train and board the inspiration train?

The inspiration train is filled with contentment and gratitude.  Everyone on the train supports your achievements and your awakening.  There is room for you to shine as bright as the sun on a scorching summers day!   So who’s coming for a ride?

All aboard! Wooowhooooo!

On the inspiration train there is no better or worse, there is only inspiration.  When we are on the inspiration train we look for other peoples strengths and we are inspired by them.  The ticket that gets you onto the inspiration train is equal worth.  Everyone on the inspiration train has the same value.

We all have different skills, assets and talents and we are free to share them.  We are free to shine our natural radiance and there is plenty of room for everyone to shine their particular unique sparkle.  The purpose of sharing on the inspiration train is purely to inspire others to surrender to their innate greatness.

On the inspiration train when we see someone doing well and shining in all their talents, skills and unique beauty we applaud and celebrate them.  It triggers feelings of inspiration and happiness.  There air is thick with magic and motivation!

There is an emotional age restriction for the inspiration train.  You are required to be at a level of emotional maturity and wisdom.  The perception within the inspiration train is to see right to the core of who people are.  To see right to their essence and the ultimate truth of life.  At the essence we all are born from source and we return to source.  We are all of equal worth.  Our true worth is not based on what we are doing and achieving… our worth is innate just for merely existing!

We are free to shine the light we were born to shine and celebrate the uniqueness of all the reflections around us.

5 Tips for turning Comparison into Inspiration

 1.  Next time you see some-one who has something you admire observe the reaction in your mind and body. Notice what thought pattern and emotional pattern naturally arises in your mind.  Notice if your dialogue is implying that you are better or worse than the other person.

2.  We all have the tendency in our mind to compare so be gentle with yourself when you notice your mind has tried to be superior or inferior.

3.  Identify it as an illusion.

4.  Look deep into the eyes of the other person until you see the essence of life at the core of the other.  From this profound perspective, ultimately it is YOU who has the quality that you admire in the other.  That ‘other’ person is merely another aspect of you.  A free wave in the vast ocean of who you are.  When you see what you would like in another say to yourself, “Well done aspect of me” .  This connects you with the qualities you admire rather than separating you.

5.  Once you have acknowledged the deeper truth of connectedness. Celebrate that quality in the other.  Take in a deep breathe and allow your mind to be inspired by the quality and enjoy it as if it is yours!

In my counselling and coaching sessions I have never met a single person who doesn’t compare themselves to others.  The “I’m not good enough” voice is present within us all but it quickly quietens when we jump off the comparison train and see life and others as an inspiration.


Photo Credit:  (Corbis)


About the Author:

image1Courtney Prosser is a nature lover, wellness junkie and lover of all things true, fun and real. She has worked for 15 years as an Occupational Therapist, Counsellor, Wellness Coach and Author.  She has travelled the world and studied with indigenous healers and shamans. She has sat at the feet of enlightened masters in India and spent thousands of hours alone in nature listening to the subtle guidance within.  Courtney is the creator of the profoundly transformational program ‘The Wellness Adventure’ that guides you home to your true nature.  Connect with Courtney on her website []or facebook page []



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