How to help your children trust their inner voice

How to help your children trust their inner voice
June 10, 2013 Melinda Azstalos



A strong connection to an inner world, will prevent a child from getting lost in the outer world.


What does it mean to have a strong connection to our inner world?  It means that we are tapped into the richness of an inner landscape that has the capacity to guide us to achieve our full potential.

That inner world, soul connection, conscious awareness or whatever label resonates best with you, is the place where you go to connect with a wisdom that guides and empowers as you navigate your way through life.

Helping your child get comfortable with connecting to this wisdom has many benefits. When a child has the ability to access this part of herself, she not only learns self-calming skills, she also learns to trust her inner voice especially when she has to make difficult decisions.  Getting connected also reinforces a sense of self-esteem and confidence.

Children will naturally gravitate towards finding a way to connect to this inner state. One way to notice this is when they play alone.  They are immersed in an inner world fueled by imagination. They find ways to entertain themselves and to create new things. This is laying the foundation for future introspection.

As a conscious parent you can help your child take this one step further by encouraging introspection. For example, when your child asks a question, you can respond with, “What does your inside self have to say about it?” or  “What is your spirit telling you?” In this way you are directing your child to the awareness that we are not just our minds and we can trust our inner voices. This also encourages your child to take note of inner wisdom as well as the outer wisdom from parents or role models.

I believe that the best advice that an adult can get is the advice that comes form the still space of inner wisdom. No one knows you better that the conscious awareness that is you.

When children do not have enough opportunity to play alone or have time to reflect upon their thoughts and ideas, their minds have trouble focusing and clarity becomes an issue.

These days kids have so much to “do” and less time to “be”.  When children are over stimulated they experience difficulty concentrating, they are not adept in self-reflection and they have trouble tuning out background noise and focusing on what they need to be focusing on in the moment.

This basically creates a state of unrest in the mind or peacelessness.  Without peace there can be no clarity of thought, a limited ability to concentrate, nervousness or anxiety. As this peacelessness increases so does the stress level of your child and meltdowns are more common and become more serious.


How can you create an environment that supports your child in this

vital stage of introspection?

Keep TV to a minimum – even as background noise – TV is passively stimulating and not conducive to healthy brain development. Children need time to decompress. They also need interactive play in order to stimulate their minds in the way nature intended; by problem solving and by adapting to the unpredictable dance between themselves, others and their environment.

Keep your home as peaceful as possible. Try to keep your home quiet, less shouting, less background TV noise, less clutter. I know that this is difficult sometimes, however, if you set your intention to creating this as a possibility, and do one small thing each day to move towards more peace in your home, you WILL achieve your intention. You may be inspired to establish a new routine or find a creative way to communicate and implement your intention.

Engage your family in your intention so that everyone can participate even in a small way towards more peace inside the home.

Our world is filled with constant distractions, “Buy this, do that, see this, etc.” The more we can step aside from the media blitz and reconnect with each other and ourselves, the more stable and secure we become. From this place of connection, a greater sense of peace emerges.

A child feels more capable and confident when he can trust his inner voice. As you demonstrate that there is power in “checking in” with your “inside self”, your child will tend to move away from the desire to prove himself because he knows that he can trust his instincts and decisions.

Questions that encourage inner reflection:

What is possible for me to feel better about…..?

What would I like to have show up for me today?

What would it take for this day at school to go easily?

How could this turn out better than I expected?

What story am I telling myself about this?

Is this really the truth about me?

What is amazing about me that I forgot?


When you teach questions, not statements, you help your children create a vision of possibility and what they want for themselves not the lack of it

As a child begins to value her ability to think things through, confidence and self esteem have an easier way in.

Taking small, simple steps to simplify, declutter and offer time for introspection goes a long way towards cultivating a sense of peace that supports a healthy lifestyle balance.


About the Author:

melinda imageMelinda Asztalos is a Parenting Expert, Certified Parent Coach, Speaker, Author and founder of Life Positive by Design; a company dedicated to the expansion of the awareness of conscious parenting on a global level.  Melinda supports and guides parents to have transformational breakthroughs no matter what their parenting challenge may be. As a certified coach and cancer survivor, Melinda speaks to the heart of what keeps people up at night from a platform of experience and compassion.







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