What Happened to My Dream?

By in Mastershift

My dream began with wonder on 11-11-11 at 11-11am (no kidding!) and ended 13 months later in frustration, tears and sadness. On that fateful day, my inner guidance directed me to a quiet spot of beauty overlooking a large pond with geese, ducks, and warm sun. I sat with no specific intention, just silently drinking in the space when I heard two words in my left ear – Seekers Central.  Wow! What a cool name. I raced home and checked the domain name, which was available, so I grabbed it not know yet what I would do with this gem. The next month, I sold a business to concentrate on another.  However, due to changes in the economic climate, I ended up deconstructing the second business. Since I had time, I began to focus on what this new business was or could be. I created a vision for Seekers Central: a compendium web interface between spiritual seekers and teachers to address the Who Am I question. I spent 13 months of planning, thinking, writing, dreaming, scheming, talking, visualizing, wanting, wanting and more wanting Seekers Central to come to fruition. I looked for co-creation partners, as the idea was broad with depth and character.  

With starry eyes and ego blazing, I kept at it, hoping the Universe would be kind (since they offered the words to me in the first place) so I could find the right keys to open the door to entrepreneurial manna.

Finally I was forced to face reality, that dreadful defining kick in the heart, ego and spirit. The venture was just too costly for me to pull off on my own. I needed deep pockets which I did not have, I needed youth, which I did not have, I needed talent which I had some of, but not enough.

So, the dream ended as all do with sad hot tears and a decent too long pity party as I let go of my ego’s desire to be seen, let go of my soul’s desire to be of service, let go of my baby boomer mentality that I can do it all, let go of my pride of creation and finally let go of wondering why the Universe did not support me (imagine a 3 year old stomping her feet and demanding attention yet not getting it – that was me). Was this a deliberate and soulful way for me to learn humility, patience and resolve? Oh my.

What happened on the way to my dream? Did I fail? Did society at large fail me? Was it just not the right time, right place, right idea? Since I am at the leading edge of the boomers, I began to feel that maybe, just maybe my 65 + years on this green/blue gem had a bit part in my dream’s demise. My very young spirit lies within a halo of white hair. I feel I have much to offer the youngers via my talent and wisdom – that sounds geezer like, but it is true. I really do not know the whys of the demise of my dream, but I do know I will create another challenge for myself to satisfy my soul’s longing to be of service, my pocketbook for a few dollars, and let my wounded ego out of the “bad girl” mind jail it found oddly comforting.

After my ‘dream’ died, I took time to recognize several soul lessons. First, it was time for me to use my voice and power, not the voice of others, as I had for many years. Second, I was finally ready (I am a slow learner and late bloomer) to speak to the importance of the soul and how it connects us, empowers us and leads us on this wondrous life adventure to live an expansive life. Today, that is what I am doing. My dream did not die, it gave birth to me.

About the Author: Suzie Daggett spins real life advice with ageless wisdom. The result? Life flows, your soul & ego balance, your intuition amps up. Suzie is a speaker, writer and intuitive business consultant. She is the author of From Ego to Soul and PEARLS ~ 52 Contemplative Insights.




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