By MartinJon Garcia
There are many things that cause us to react, however, we can learn from each and every one. Of course, if we attempted to learn from every reaction, we wouldn’t have time for anything else. Therefore let us start with a big one: anger.
When I get angry, it is a clear sign that I am not in balance and some work needs to be done. I often hear people tell me that some person or thing “makes me angry.” That can seem to be the case in today’s world where we have been taught to place blame when we feel wronged. I am sorry to break it to you but what I am sharing in this post is that it isn’t the person, their actions or that “thing” that is actually making you angry; it’s you and your imbalances.
When an experience comes my way in which I react with anger, I now take the opportunity to separate the anger from where I am placing the blame. It is not the guy who cut me off or my boss telling me to rework some nonsense. It’s not the kids who picked my pocket. It is simply anger. When I can see this emotion for what it is without judging those who brought it out in me; I can free myself up and examine it. Through examining these emotions and the circumstances that brought it about; I am able to learn and move on.
Anger comes about for a lot of reasons. Often times it’s an emotion that we use to cover up other feelings. I hear people say “I have the right to be angry” and although they may be right; anger is probably not what they are actually feeling. I say this because just by saying “I have the right to…” does not justify it. By looking for permission to be angry they avoid having to admit that there is an imbalance. For myself this is 100% the case. Therefore I actively work at self understanding enough to accept that anger emerges when I am needing to balance.
Once in my early 20’s I was so angry I reacted by slamming a heavy wooden door. It crushed and mostly severed the tip of one of my fingers. After they put my fingertip back together I couldn’t help but look at how one split second changed my life forever. My finger would never be the same and it was all because I got angry. Today I don’t remember what set me off but I do recall that as soon as I damaged my finger whatever it was didn’t really matter anymore.
We permit ourselves to be angry for all sorts of reasons. I usually see people being angry to cover up a sense of weakness. This weakness is most often associated with shame and fear but probably a whole host of other deep seeded issues.
When we see anger rising, recognize there is something that needs our attention. Something within us that is not being loved. When we take the time to listen to our emotions we can reflect and find a way to love ourselves deeper. This sort of reflection will not only heal ourselves but it will heal the planet. I ask you to reflect on your anger and find the bits of you that need more love, because we can all use a little more.
About the Author: MartinJon Garcia is an artist and originator of Portrait Facilitation, a self-reflection facilitation practice that utilizes portraiture. The portraits aid clients in both distancing themselves from their own personal criticisms while looking deeply into their subconsciousness to live a more mindful and purposed life.