By Suzie Daggett and Nancy Shapiro
As I watch my 91 year-old mom begin her decline, she and I discuss the finalization of letting go – letting go of her body, her life, this moment on earth while allowing the spiritual mystery surrounding the next life to come into play. Yet, we are perplexed. She wants to exit, but she still holds on. What does it really mean to let go? Or maybe the better question is why do we hang on – to life or a relationship or an ideal or a situation? From the little I know, when one chooses to let go, they first become consciously aware of the tightness and then, allow the release, over and over. By unlocking your mind’s grip of its daily angst and noisy control, you allow your heart and soul to guide you to ease.
The act of letting go is a flexible combination of the following:
From strident to soft – imagine a situation where you are unconsciously gritting your teeth, your stress level is maxed out, your face carries an unhappy frown. Bringing awareness of your situation, reimagine your teeth gently releasing; your stress directed towards the inhale and exhale of your breath; your frown turned to a slight smile. You are now in the process of softening. Do your best to embrace the time it takes to bring your worrisome thoughts forward into consciousness. Once acknowledged, the worry will soften into clearer thoughts of action (or non-action), depending on the situation.
From control to release – trying to control the malleable future is fruitless. We can set intentions and visualize what we desire—however the Divine is the only energy that really knows what’s what. When you have the moxie to release what you desire to control, soften it first, then shake it off and let life unfold with a natural inner rhythm. What you most need at that moment will come to you with more ease.
From reactive to proactive – check inside when you are reacting to a situation. Are you angry because you cannot control what is happening? Can you take that same situation and change the scenario to a proactive stance to live fully right now, in this moment? Recognize your past reactionary responses of despair, confusion or righteousness, and replace them with softer opposites—like contentment, calm, and love. Again, do your best to feel the relief of softness in your heart, soul, and mind.
Letting go is a process – sometimes it happens in an instant, but usually, there is lag between wanting to let go of someone or something and the actual occurrence. Like any learning tool, this spiritual practice takes determination to overcome old habits, which keep us either in the worried past or constructing some future creation. In reality, only this moment is the real moment. Let go of it and start on the next.
The more you do this, the more you will become an expert at changing your old habits and actions as you allow for deep release. Letting go of something one day does not mean you are done. Practice your steps over and over and over you will learn the power of letting go.
PS – this article was read to and approved by Mom
About the Authors: Co-written by Suzie Daggett and Nancy Shapiro
Suzie Daggett spins real life advice with ageless wisdom. The result? Life flows, your soul & ego balance, your intuition amps up. Suzie is a speaker, workshop leader, writer and intuitive business consultant. She is the author of From Ego to Soul and PEARLS ~ 52 Contemplative Insights. suziedaggett.com
Nancy G. Shapiro is a Professional Certified Coach, author, workshop leader, and advocate of calm. Her expertise is in sharing tools and practices to navigate the inevitable shifts of our personal and professional lives while celebrating the resiliency of the human spirit. She is currently writing a book about the courageous act of embracing our stories, to be published by SheWrites Press in October, 2017.
Header image from: all-free-download.com/wallpapers/
Knowing our immensely wise, omnipotent Creator in as intimate a way as is possible (while being a limited human), is the hallmark of my life that practices “letting go” of my control/orchestration on a daily/hourly/moment-by-moment basis. I only hold onto the smaller human management of carrying out all the duties of life – but I allow the spirit realm led by our Creator to push, pull and direct me all the day long.
I began learning this deep dynamic as an 11-year-old and because of severe losses: my mother died instantly in an auto accident when I was 10 (she was 30), then the following year, my dear father was fatally injured on-duty as a law enforcement officer and died at home minutes after speaking with me (he was 32 and honestly had no idea that he was about to die at home only moments after speaking with me in our kitchen).
THIS VERY MOMENT, right after the paramedics sped off with my father, I gazed on the space where my father last lay, and knew he was gone. In those VERY FEW MOMENTS, the deep spiritual words that he had spoken to me (and his other 3 children) only weeks before his death, catapulted my spirit into a height and depth unimaginable. My father was never a religious or spiritual man until a huge awakening fell upon him while in comas in the ICU as a young chaplain spoke to him of a Creator who had personhood and could be related to in an intimate way and LOVED EACH OF US HUMANS in a personal way. My father wept (first time I’d ever seen) as he described his new enlightenment, that he was deeply loved and actually could feel a new connection to his Creator. He told me/us that though he did not understand how to guide us in his new spiritual journey, he was still inviting us to join him on it. He gathered around 8 people around a large dining room table, as he shared his new experience while his thin and weakened body was wrapped in bandages, braces, a cast and deep wounds from 2 open-heart surgeries. I was the only person (of many) in that room who spiritually “heard” what my father was sharing, and as I peered into his wet eyes, received the SAME presence of a loving Creator.
So strangely, it was as I stared at the space where I would last see my father’s humanity, the High One of all creation poured into and over me in a way words could never capture. I could feel and knew the maternal and paternal arms of the most sweet, strong, overwhelmingly wise Creator almost carrying me above the earth. This was very necessary, as the following years were full of abuses unmentionable and void of love and affection as I and my siblings were tossed around in foster care then endured more years in an abusive failed adoption.
It’s now 40+ years later, and this intensity of intimacy with our Creator has not even slightly waned. It’s remained perfect in its childlike openness, yet advanced in strength and ability to enter difficult spiritual arenas in our often chaotic, broken world.
So “letting go” has become my life. I’m actually “letting go” just by typing this on a computer screen for others to see, as some could discount or try and dilute my experience in their minds, because they might not be able to grasp its truth.
I probably would never have been so open to this High One visiting and joining me, if I wasn’t in one of the most dark, abandoned, void spaces an 11-year-old could ever experience. The “seed” of my childhood died as I stared at the space where my father last lay, yet the gorgeous spiritual flower that emerged was, and still is, my greatest gift.