This is an exert from Stephanie Clark’s book, “Inspirations”:
Exercise 12: Worthiness
Many people struggle with a false perception that they are unlovable or “bad” in some way. It is lonely to live in this place of feeling unworthy of love. You suffer as you ask only for what you feel you deserve. To ask for almost no love means that at some level you feel you deserve none.
Another common experience is to look outside of yourself for things that you think will make you feel worthy, or to look for validation from others that you are important. You may be so dependent on assurance from others that you are loveable that when someone rejects you or disapproves of you in some way, it crushes you emotionally. This is a difficult way to live, as your opinion of yourself is reliant on another’s opinion.
Think of an animal raised in a zoo in a controlled environment. The animal lives in a cage waiting for someone else to take care of it, dependent on others for its survival. The animal is trapped in a cage and has no free will to change its environment.
Feeling that you are unlovable is similar to being an animal that sits in a cage. You are waiting for someone to reach out to you in a way that makes you feel loved. You are waiting for another to feed you, to give you the reassurance that you are worthy and accepted. You do not have the confidence that you can do anything else and feel that your potential is limited. Believing that all your possibilities for love reside in the space that is your cage. Holding the belief that there will never be anything more than this, never looking past the bars in front of you.
The belief that you are unworthy can impact your entire existence; however, it does not have to be this way. Contemplate an alternative view of the situation. Consider that there are no bars in front of you, as there is no cage. You only believed that you were limited and thus imprisoned yourself into a narrow box of possibilities. The bars that you see in front of you are your own restrictive perceptions manifesting in a variety of ways that looks confining. It is an illusion that there is something lacking within you, or that there is something that another person can give you that will make you whole. It is transformative to wake up to the reality that you are actually a free being. You are free to leave the confines you have been stuck in for so long. You are free to enter the wilderness and seek out your own sustenance.
Every person has the tools needed to feed themselves. Reflect on the fact that an animal does not ask if it is worthy before it devours food it has found. There is no question for an animal, who trusts its natural ability to find food and nourishment. When an animal is free in the wild, it can do what nature intended it to do. The same is true for you. You have the capacity to fill yourself up with nourishing thoughts. Loving yourself is the key to being able to live independently.
As you begin to live from a place of sustaining yourself, you may notice that other people react differently to you. Often when there is a period of spiritual growth or an internal perception shift, there is also an outer change that manifests in your life. As you leave your cage and start to make your way to the wilderness of unlimited opportunities, you may notice some resistance from others. You might pass by people who are in similar self-imposed cages who are not used to seeing someone walking about freely. Many people choose to remain in their cages out of fear. These people may have liked it better when you were boxed in, knowing that you were someone who asked for very little. Feeling a sense of control that you were stuck in a cage like them, as this is predictable and “safe.” People who do not have the capacity yet to love another without conditions, or who are unwilling to love themselves, may not be able to transition with you into your new lifestyle. That is okay. You are not on this earth to convince anyone that you are worthy of love, other than convincing yourself. These people will fall away as you get closer to the wilderness and as you leave behind the rigid perceptions of what you knew your life to be.
Prepare to be amazed by the things that happen next. There is no way to imagine what wonders lie up ahead. You are out of the cage and are free. You are no longer confined and limited. Everything you need, and more, awaits you.
1. In what ways do you look to others for validation? What power do you give others over your own emotional health in doing this? What self-perceptions do you hold about your own worthiness?
2. For today, sit in a quiet, meditative state for 10-15 minutes. You may want to set a timer to go off at the allotted time, or you may choose to just do the meditation experience until it feels right for you to stop. To start, sit in a comfortable position and try to limit interruptions. Close your eyes and start to take slow, deep breaths. Focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling. Hold your hands over your heart and quietly say the following mantra to yourself repeatedly, “I love myself completely, I am worthy.” Continue to repeat this mantra and feed yourself love quietly until the meditation time ends. During your meditation experience, if you find yourself getting distracted, focus back on your breathing until you feel centered again, and then continue with your exercise. If this visualization triggers any resistance or negative feelings from you, journal about those feelings after meditation and explore them further.
“I love myself enough to choose a life of freedom.”
Life can be a long and complicated journey. Every life is different with distinct challenges. Yet, even with the uniqueness of each individual, there are common issues that emerge which impact our lives.
In Inspirations 21 Daily Reflections for Rediscovering Your Authentic Self, Stephanie Clark, a Psychiatric/Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, shares 21 uplifting stories and exercises on releasing doubt, overcoming limiting self-perceptions, and living from a place of authenticity and fulfillment. The messages provided are both simple and profound, specific and expansive. They encourage us to reject fear, embrace love and trust our own inner guidance.
The stories and reflections are messages of hope, reminding each of us that we are worthy of love and deserve an abundant existence. You can purchase the book here.
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