“Beauty Begins the Moment you Decide to Be Yourself”
We glimpse a small moment of time. An eternal flame flickers for an in-breath of the Divine – a flutter of an eyelid in history – and then we are gone. Will thisnow-moment be filled with abundant light, connection and love – or pain, heart-ache and suffering?
Will we chase shadows and face the inevitable confusion of buying into the collective fear – or will we choose to circumvent the forces that seek to keep us controlled and stuck in fear?
Whom we surround ourselves with can have a massive impact on our overall quality of life. We don’t get to choose everyone we share space with – sometimes, we just need to accept and work with the imperfect. Yet toxic people and environments can severely shift our well-being.
What does it mean to be “toxic” – how do we actively discern which people are “good” for us or “bad?”
The arena of human relationships and interactions is one fraught with complexity. On one hand, all people have a soul and nobody is inherently “toxic” – yet, on the other hand, we do need to acknowledge that there are some very negative people around, and in order to protect ourselves from them, it’s healthy to be able to step away. As always, a clear set of personal boundaries is imperative to show us the path through what can seem like a labyrinth. Then with our integrity intact, we may navigate through our relationships consciously and lovingly.
What I see in the world is many people following old dogmas, old religions, old philosophies and thinking that is not of this time – not of the present – and not allowing people to be themselves. Instead they are hijacked and imprisoned by these old beliefs. A common approach at the moment is being “right” and making others “wrong”
The violence and anarchy being expressed in the world shows where people are at – how did we get to a point of such fear? It is not necessarily what people are doing, but why that interests me. We get caught up with style over substance at times, instead of looking deeper to the root causes of conflict. What energy and focus are we placing on human suffering – versus on helping to alleviate this suffering?
How are we reflecting the whole – how are we perpetuating the same patterns – and placing ourselves as part of the problem, instead of the solution?
As the Earth becomes more fragile, humans are reflecting that in their reactiveness and health. An increasingly toxic environment creates increasing stress and rising fear.
Does one wish to continue to live at war with one another and the planet – or are there spiritual solutions to the challenges we face?
Gary Zukav writes in Soul Stories, “When one of us hurts, that is a sorrow for everyone. When one of us is happy, that is a joy to everyone. We are living in the same promised land. It belongs to each of us, and we belong to it. That is the Universe. There is no other land.”
Aristotle reminds us that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts.” We reflect the whole as a microcosm of the macrocosm – yet we are also able to rise above suffering and victimhood, as free-will creators. What happens outside reflects what happens on the inside – and the other way around. With this view, it is of paramount importance how we view ourselves – how we see and feel about ourselves.
Expectations of ourselves impose judgement and limitation on whom we can be and become. The more we expect of ourselves has a tendency to be mirrored in the external world by what we expect of others – affecting all relationships from work colleagues, friendships to loved ones. Further – whom we are comparing ourselves to – limits us from being (and becoming) ourselves. As Iyanla Vanzant wrote, “comparison is an act of violence against the self.”
Expectations can corrode our worldview and ultimately cost us authenticity and truly living in the present moment. More so, there is a routine and pattern in all things, including relationships, and within these bounds, it is fair to expect that certain standards are met. What I want to focus on, is the areas where we are expecting too much of ourselves and other people, thusly limiting our (and their) experience. This can become destructive. The need to develop self-compassion as a counter to the current of judgement and high-expectation – in the developed world – remains a vital part of what it means to be human.
People are seeking a feeling of connection with themselves and with others, a connection to the sacred, and a feeling of being safe and grounded in their bodies at this time. This connection will not come from watching the news channels or avoiding bringing awareness and light to the shadows we so vehemently reject.
What are we resisting that will keep persisting so long as we continue in the same paradigms?
What are we resisting about ourselves – or others?
Sometimes, saying “no” is the most loving act one can do.
Sometimes, the most loving act we can do is to love ourselves.
Sometimes, simply loving ourselves is all we need.
Coco Chanel said: “beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” What will you do right now to show and be whom you are – a face of loving-kindness – or what? Perhaps all you have been waiting for all this time is permission to be yourself.
About the Author: David G. Arenson ND
David G. Arenson ND is an international SOUL-COACH who travels the world as a transformational healer and speaker. He is working on a book on self-empowerment, and developing journey retreats to places of spiritual activation. David is actively seeking partners to co-create his vision of an enlightened and unified planet of choice. He can be reached via email ([email protected]) and websites, findshambhala.com and mretreat.com
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