As small infants, we learn that the world is not supportive of the expression of our authentic core. We are repeatedly told how to behave, and we gather quickly what is acceptable and what is not. No one wants to be rejected and ostracized. Over time, we evolve a persona or buffer that serves as a bridge between our core and the outside world. This is not just a subconscious program that develops because we experience a trauma or emotional attack. This is a polished, sophisticated, and complex sub-personality module with behaviors, attitudes, thoughts, and responses. It is so well integrated that no one from the outside can tell that it is not you. If we were actors playing a role on stage, then job well done. But this is our life and none of it is real. It is not authentic to who we are and what we truly feel. It is designed to make us accepted and loved by the outside.
Within a few years of expressing this persona or sub-personality module, we begin to forget what our core feels or looks like. The more time we spend acting as the persona, the more we forget our authenticity. Added to this is the fact that the expectation from the world in a family setting is different from school, the play yard, work, or socializing with friends. So we create multiple sub-personality modules to buffer our authentic core from these various external situations. Most of us spend our day moving from one sub-personality module to the next without ever connecting and reinforcing any authentic and genuine desires. Given enough time spent expressing these false identities, we no longer remember what our authentic core looks like.
To an onlooker, our lives may be ideal. We may have achievement, money, offspring, success, and recognition. However, we may be walking around with a malaise that we cannot define. It is a sense of discontent, lack of fulfillment, and unhappiness—an inner knowing that we are frauds, for we are lying to ourselves. None of it is authentic. It is all a lie.
All this self-deceit is predicated on the fact that we are afraid that the world would neither understand nor approve of our authentic self. Our authentic core is a fragile, extinguishable, and breakable point that makes us feel so vulnerable and exposed that we dare not express it to the world. We innately understand how precious and valuable it is, and chancing ridicule from the world would break the flow of this tiny stream and extinguish our light. It is a unique key vibratory signature that no one else in the Universe possesses. It is a singular and specific expression of the Light of the Divine that is not repeated anywhere. The hiding of this inner treasure from the conformity of the enculturation process drives this disenfranchisement. We want approval and acceptance from others and fear ridicule for being the oddball or the freak. So we create sub-personality modules or false axes as a means to keep the secret in place. But over a lifetime of living in false identities, we begin to believe them to be true. We no longer know where our core is or remember what it feels like. Outwardly, we continue to act as if everything were OK, but within we are terrified that we cannot find that special, unique, and fulfilling place anymore.
Finding your authentic nature is like doing detective work. However, it is not a left brain or linear thinking investigation. It is completely heart centered. For that to happen, you have to allow your head or awareness to drop into the middle of your heart, as if you were looking at the world from the center of your chest. Do the following meditation:
Close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Allow the Universal Light substance that permeates everything to enter into your lungs. Breathe deeply. Let your head drop into the center of your chest. Realize that you can perceive energies around you for 360º. Breathe deeply. Notice what you notice. Breathe deeply. Now, find your authentic core. Pay attention to any and all axes that may exist around your center. Breathe deeply. Identify any false axes and sub-personality modules that may exist. Now take a deep breathe, surrender, and let go of these false identities. It is not your burden to do or fix anything. Just release, let go, and allow the Universal Light substance to dissolve them (repeat this as necessary). Take a deep breath, and when you feel ready, open your eyes.
You may have to revisit this meditation multiple times to eliminate all the false identities. I, for one, was shocked to see so many false identities that I thought I would never find my core. Finding your core is an encounter with your inner fragility. It is a scary and vulnerable experience. Moreover, it is not a vocation or activity; it is a feeling. The normal instinct is to continue to hide and protect it at all cost. This may sound counterintuitive, but it is the truth: It is in finding the courage to expose this vulnerable center to the world that true freedom and liberation exist. It is an aspect of the Divine Grace that has nurtured your soul through multiple incarnations. Upon merger back with Source, that unique trajectory will bring experiences to a field of potentialities, enriching the infinite Source. Follow the core frequency and organize your life around this authentic truth to give your life meaning.
If you can do this, your life will begin to be aligned with your individual and unique expression of the Divine. You will move closer to fulfilling your piece of the puzzle. Finding the courage to express this unique vibratory signature is the key to achieving your dharma. Like the pieces of a puzzle, we each have a unique frequency, purpose, and reason for being. Accepting and celebrating your uniqueness and broadcasting it to the world will give permission to others to do the same. Exposing your vulnerability to the world will cause others to remember that they too have an authentic core, and you will entrain them to liberate themselves.
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About the Author:
Pierre Richard Dubois is the author of A Primer for Ascension: Lessons Learned on the Path of Enlightenment. He is an ascension teacher, healer, and spiritual life coach based in New York City. He teaches weekly ascension classes in New York City and frequently offers lectures and workshops throughout the United States. He can be reached at http://iammonad.com./